One of the biggest shocks I had when I had kids was that there was no one to truly rescue me. My mom, my dad, they couldn't do it for me. My parents have always been protective. They haven't always let me just find my way. In some ways they did, but in others, not so much. I didn't know how to do my own laundry when I got to college and my roommate had to teach me how to cook a simple pasta meal.....when I was 21. Yikes. I remember coming home from the hospital with our second baby and sitting on the couch one night with my husband. We both had this weird epiphany and pretty much admitted how insanely crazy it was that we were in charge of two little lives. I looked at Reid and said "Who okayed this? I mean, I have no idea what I'm doing pretty much all of the time." We laugh now but it felt so true and still does in moments. You have these fairy tale views of so many things in your life growing up, dating, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, dream jobs and the list goes on. There are absolutely moments that are that fairy tale-esque and moments that far surpass that. But there are also moments that are like being hit over the head with true reality. And for me, those moments happen often, especially since becoming a Warrior Mom.
So now that decisions regarding my child includes things like hospitalization, medication changes, surgery plans, therapy routes, pursuing genetic testing, doctors and on and on it really has been a wake up call. That as far as my baby girl goes (and my son though he isn't as complicated up to this point), my husband and I are it. There's no one I can turn around to waiting to swoop in and take charge and make those hard decisions. They can give me advice and opinions, but it is us who has the big picture and us who are the ones in charge and have to make the final call. And EEEK! That can feel really scary....and lonely....and crazy.
So I Woman Up pretty darn frequently. Because at the end of the day, who is better to make those decisions for that sweet little boy and girl than the people who love them most? Doesn't mean it is easy, doesn't mean it is always fun and I am perfect at it but it is a privilege and it is a job I am glad to have. So when I am hiding in my closet having a pity party because I feel like I don't know what to do, I Woman Up. Because that is what Mamas do. That is who we are and that is what we were created to do.
On a side note, I literally wanted to tell my husband to woMAN up last weekend. Let me start by saying that my husband is fabulous. He is an amazing daddy. But at the end of the day he is a man. I was leaving for a bridal shower and he was planning on getting together with a friend and his daughter. But he wasn't going to because he had the kids and it would too hard to have to load them up and figure out their schedules and pack their bags and blah blah blah. And with our little warrior princess, it can be tough, but COME ON. Woman Up, dude. If I had that attitude I would be a hermit all the time, in our house, and our babies would be bored.out.of.their.minds. But that can be the difference between mommies and daddies. So next time your husband is overwhelmed with a situation that is typically in your category of expertise, tell him "Woman Up". And overall, that is a compliment.
Graham helping "feed" Wimberley about a year ago. Part of her feeding therapy was to attempt to feed her PO (orally) every three-four hours. The milk was thickened to help her control it more with her weak swallow. What she didn't eat we would feed her through her g-button. At this point, she would MAYBE have an ounce orally, if that. Feelings took up most of our day with the routine she had.
This is Wimberley two months ago eating a cupcake. She still has her food nuances and food issues - she only licks the icing off of the cupcake - but she has come so far!
